Navigating Teen Overwhelm: Strategies for Supportive Parenting
Today, we’re tackling a topic that many parents find challenging: helping your teenager when they’re feeling overwhelmed and emotional.
As parents, it’s heart-wrenching to see our teens struggle with overwhelming emotions. We want to help, but finding the right approach can be tricky. Today, we’ll explore some strategies to support your teenager without resorting to hovering or trying to fix everything for them.
Relaxed Communication… somehow. 
Just like a ship needs clear communication to navigate rough waters, your relationship with your teen needs open channels of communication to weather the storms of overwhelm. Steer clear of closed (one-word answer) questions or interrogating questions like “What’s wrong?” You OK today? try asking open-ended questions like “Now your home, what do you want to do? or “What was today like for you? or these closed questions will also demonstrate support “Can I do anything to support you?” or “Anything I can do to make this day feel better?
I would also say never forget you don’t always need to have a 121 face-to-face chat with your teen, messaging or even calling them on their phone can be less intense for them. Plus and with ringing them, to start with, they will be curious why you’re calling and so more likely to answer…what I mean with this is, that mixing up your methods can help and show the effort you will go to to let them know you are there.
Creating a place AWAY from the issue.
Imagine your home as a harbour, offering a safe haven amidst turbulent seas. Designate a calm, quiet space where your teen can retreat when they need time to decompress. Respect their boundaries and let them know they can come to you whenever they’re ready to talk. Be the calm in their storm… be that not hounding about revision or asking millions of questions to make them talk through the negative thing again.. How’s “the big issue” going? Things like that…. be the place they don’t HAVE to talk about it… it will make it more likely that your home with become the place they WANT to talk about it… because it’s on their terms!
🤹Coping Skills.
Just as sailors learn to navigate rough waters, teens need to develop coping skills to navigate life’s challenges. Encourage your teen to explore anything that helps them feel better (Distractions can be anything to give their brain a rest from pumping out these emotions) but also look at things that make the issue or issues they’re facing easier. No idea is too stupid here!
Think of things that reduce the emotion, things that use the emotional energy in a healthy way (and I say energy because frustration, anger and anxiety can cause surges in adrenalin) anything from punching pillows, creative expression, laughing or crying as examples. But also think of tiny weeny things that may make the actual issue itself better.
Take exam overwhelm as an example – what makes that better, is revision, and listening in class, you can add… resting properly and self-care and probably rewards! See if you can build anything that takes these from ideas to actions!
Or let’s say it’s overwhelming with school… so what can make it better? …Well NO school, it’s an idea! So build on this.. for example, it’s not unknown for me to count with teens in year 11 how many days they have left at school, in year 10 how many months left, years 7,8 and 9 I break it down until the next half term! This helps to take away some of the belief that they are at school “FOREVER” it’s a coping mechanism in restructuring thoughts to facts and facts that are helpful! The other important part of coping mechanisms is that they need to be specifically focused so with school as the example….what part of school is overwhelming… let’s say people… now look at ways to keep calm in crowds or set a tiny challenge of making eye contact with 1 person in the class.
The bottom line is you are looking to bring back just a tiny drop of HOPE … that isn’t how it will be forever…. or that it is changeable!
** IMPORTANT POINT ** – You can provide resources and support in this, but let them take the lead in finding what works best for them.
Now, whilst we are talking about your support I wanted to address
Why supporting your teen in times of overwhelm can be challenging for parents:
😨 Fear of Making Things Worse.
Many parents worry that their attempts to help may backfire and make things worse for their teens. This fear can lead to hesitation and reluctance to intervene, leaving teens feeling unsupported. Always remember the only way to really make things worse is to ignore the issue or your teen. Everything else will have an intent to help as even if your teen doesn’t say it, they will know that you’re trying and this is the support that overwhelm needs!
⚖ Striking the Right Balance.
Finding the balance between being supportive and giving space and keeping them safe can be a delicate dance for parents. It’s natural to want to swoop in and fix everything, but sometimes, teens need space to navigate their emotions independently. So give them clear boundaries to operate within and allow them to find ways to help themselves and then you can support and cheer on their efforts.
😢Dealing with our Own Emotions.
Seeing our teens in distress can trigger our own emotions as parents. It’s essential to acknowledge and manage our feelings while supporting our teens effectively. So you’re acknowledging and validating your own feelings, just like you do for your teen, talk about a great role modelling opportunity!!
Always remember, parenting a teenager isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present and supportive. By implementing these strategies and understanding the challenges, you can create a supportive environment where your teen feels heard, understood, and loved. Which is a great place to be in when you’re dealing with overwhelm!
